One of my favorite websites I visit has a bible verse of the day and as I went to look at the site today the verse is: Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. - James 4:10. This got me thinking. Do I humble myself before the Lord? And what does it mean to be humble before the Lord? I looked up the definition of the word humble and this is what I found: not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive; reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission.
I think this verse speaks volumes to me today. Have I been approaching God in a spirit of deference or submission? Or more often do I live my days feeling proud of what I'VE accomplished? I think more often than not I end up walking around with a feeling of pride of where I am in life and don't usually take the time to think about the fact that without God I wouldn't have gotten anywhere! I find that usually I only stop and think about God in my everyday life when I'm struggling and calling out to Him for help. I definitely don't want to live that way. I want to be able to walk through everyday and recognize Him in even the smallest details. Today I'm thanking God for speaking to me when I'm not evening listening for Him. I'm thankful for the fact that if I slow down and focus more on life, I won't miss Him in the still moments.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Search for a Savior...
In my life as of late, I really feel like I've been missing out on something. Even though everything in my life seems to be going wonderfully right now, I still feel this hole as if I'm somehow not complete. I know that can sound kind of cliche, but it's true. When I look back over the first 30 years of my life, I can see myself slowly drifting away from God and from any sort of personal relationship with Christ and I hate that.
I was always raised in the Methodist church. I can't remember a time growing up that I wasn't in church on Sunday and when I got to middle and high school, I was actively involved in my youth group - even ending up as the president of my youth group my senior year of high school. I felt about as close to God as I've ever been and I just knew that I was going to go off to college and meet a strong, Christian man and we'd have a wonderful, perfect little Christian family.
Well life doesn't always turn out the way you plan it. Despite the fact that God couldn't have chosen a better roommate for me my freshman year of college (Kendall was most definitely a Godsend), I found myself lost and searching for a place to fit in. Unfortunately, no matter how much God tried on His end of our relationship, I kept pushing Him away. I joined a sorority and God again put the most amazing Big Sister in my life. Beth was and still is one of the most amazing Christian women I've ever known in my life. I kept pushing and pushing Him away because I still didn't fit in at college where I thought I should. In the end, I ended up self-destructing and was back living at home with my parents by the time I was done with my sophomore year of college.
I came home determined to re-establish my relationship with Christ, but I got sidetracked. I was so intent on meeting a man and getting married, that I let my search for God fall by the wayside AGAIN. I met David and within 2 years of meeting we were married. I knew this was it and I had found my place in this world FINALLY. I worked hard in our marriage to meet God again and I threw myself into church and became involved in just about every way I could imagine. Only one small problem, David wasn't having it. I prayed and prayed and prayed to God that He would open David's eyes and his heart so that David too could know God and have a personal relationship with Christ. After 2 years of marriage, I came home one day to a huge surprise. Despite having a contract on a house and getting ready to move in less than a month, suddenly David "didn't love me anymore" and wanted a divorce. I was devastated. Crushed. I was angry with God. I cried out, what did I do to deserve this? I didn't stick around long enough to hear the answer. I dove into the dating scene and suddenly made finding a new husband my god. I stopped going to church and pulled away from my friends and even my family.
Thankfully, I met Joe. Joe was raised in a big Catholic family and this was something new to me. We had long talks about our faith and what we believed. We've definitely had a lot of struggles in our 5 year relationship but throughout it all I've really still believed that this was all part of God's plan for our lives. We've dealt with Joe getting laid off from his job, me changing jobs twice, Joe deciding to go back to school, buying a house and struggling with our finances due to being a one income home. But through it all, I've managed to maintain my faith this time around and know that God has brought me through SO much in my lifetime that I know He's not going to just give up on me now.
So why this long post about feeling lost? Well, despite the fact that I still believe that God is looking out for me and that He has a plan for my life, I feel really far away from Him. We haven't found a church home since we've moved into our house and I really want to find a good church that I can really get involved in and find a good small group. I also want to try and establish a good quiet time with God every day (which is hard because I find my life is so hectic). I also want to strive to have God in my everyday life and be able to see Him in even the small things rather than just being a "Sunday Christian" that goes to church more for the social setting than for getting fed.
So I plan on immersing myself in the Word and trying to reconnect with God. I yearn for a closer relationship with God and desire to grow in my spiritual walk. So there it is. I've laid it all out. I've said this so many times before and I end up getting discouraged and falling away after a few months, but I feel like there is no time like the present to rekindle that loving relationship with my Father.
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. - Deuteronomy 4:29
I was always raised in the Methodist church. I can't remember a time growing up that I wasn't in church on Sunday and when I got to middle and high school, I was actively involved in my youth group - even ending up as the president of my youth group my senior year of high school. I felt about as close to God as I've ever been and I just knew that I was going to go off to college and meet a strong, Christian man and we'd have a wonderful, perfect little Christian family.
Well life doesn't always turn out the way you plan it. Despite the fact that God couldn't have chosen a better roommate for me my freshman year of college (Kendall was most definitely a Godsend), I found myself lost and searching for a place to fit in. Unfortunately, no matter how much God tried on His end of our relationship, I kept pushing Him away. I joined a sorority and God again put the most amazing Big Sister in my life. Beth was and still is one of the most amazing Christian women I've ever known in my life. I kept pushing and pushing Him away because I still didn't fit in at college where I thought I should. In the end, I ended up self-destructing and was back living at home with my parents by the time I was done with my sophomore year of college.
I came home determined to re-establish my relationship with Christ, but I got sidetracked. I was so intent on meeting a man and getting married, that I let my search for God fall by the wayside AGAIN. I met David and within 2 years of meeting we were married. I knew this was it and I had found my place in this world FINALLY. I worked hard in our marriage to meet God again and I threw myself into church and became involved in just about every way I could imagine. Only one small problem, David wasn't having it. I prayed and prayed and prayed to God that He would open David's eyes and his heart so that David too could know God and have a personal relationship with Christ. After 2 years of marriage, I came home one day to a huge surprise. Despite having a contract on a house and getting ready to move in less than a month, suddenly David "didn't love me anymore" and wanted a divorce. I was devastated. Crushed. I was angry with God. I cried out, what did I do to deserve this? I didn't stick around long enough to hear the answer. I dove into the dating scene and suddenly made finding a new husband my god. I stopped going to church and pulled away from my friends and even my family.
Thankfully, I met Joe. Joe was raised in a big Catholic family and this was something new to me. We had long talks about our faith and what we believed. We've definitely had a lot of struggles in our 5 year relationship but throughout it all I've really still believed that this was all part of God's plan for our lives. We've dealt with Joe getting laid off from his job, me changing jobs twice, Joe deciding to go back to school, buying a house and struggling with our finances due to being a one income home. But through it all, I've managed to maintain my faith this time around and know that God has brought me through SO much in my lifetime that I know He's not going to just give up on me now.
So why this long post about feeling lost? Well, despite the fact that I still believe that God is looking out for me and that He has a plan for my life, I feel really far away from Him. We haven't found a church home since we've moved into our house and I really want to find a good church that I can really get involved in and find a good small group. I also want to try and establish a good quiet time with God every day (which is hard because I find my life is so hectic). I also want to strive to have God in my everyday life and be able to see Him in even the small things rather than just being a "Sunday Christian" that goes to church more for the social setting than for getting fed.
So I plan on immersing myself in the Word and trying to reconnect with God. I yearn for a closer relationship with God and desire to grow in my spiritual walk. So there it is. I've laid it all out. I've said this so many times before and I end up getting discouraged and falling away after a few months, but I feel like there is no time like the present to rekindle that loving relationship with my Father.
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. - Deuteronomy 4:29
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Things I've Done...
I stole this list from my friend B who stole this list from someone else, who probably stole it from someone else. I've bolded everything I've done.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty (you can longer do this)
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dippin
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (only if you count on Wii)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (no, but I've bought and eaten my fair share)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check (should I really be proud of this??)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. One cavity or less (I wish)
I guess I better get working on this list! What have you done?
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty (you can longer do this)
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dippin
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (only if you count on Wii)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (no, but I've bought and eaten my fair share)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check (should I really be proud of this??)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. One cavity or less (I wish)
I guess I better get working on this list! What have you done?
Friday, January 2, 2009
New Year's Resolutions...
It's that time of year again! Time for us to all make our annual New Year's Resolutions. How is it that every year we can make the same promises and somehow never seem to keep them much past the end of January? Back when I went to the gym regularly I would avoid it as much as possible during January because it was always packed with all the New Year's Resolution people who would slowly drift away by the beginning of February. Is it just the idea of being a shiny, better, sleeker model of ourselves that has us renewing these resolutions year after year?
Well, say what you will, but here I am January 2nd and I'm making the resolutions too. Although, of course I've given myself the weekend to live it up and go hog wild one last time before I "officially" start on Monday, January 5th. So is that really a "New Year's Resolution" if I let 4 full days of the "New Year" go by before I actually start? With that said, here are my New Year's Resolutions (let's see where I am by February 1st!):
Here's hoping that 2009 is a wonderfully blessed year for you and your family!
Well, say what you will, but here I am January 2nd and I'm making the resolutions too. Although, of course I've given myself the weekend to live it up and go hog wild one last time before I "officially" start on Monday, January 5th. So is that really a "New Year's Resolution" if I let 4 full days of the "New Year" go by before I actually start? With that said, here are my New Year's Resolutions (let's see where I am by February 1st!):
- Eat healthier
- Exercise more... okay, at all
- Budget my finances better
- Find a new church and attend regularly
- Do a better job of keeping in touch with my friends and loved ones other than through Facebook!
Here's hoping that 2009 is a wonderfully blessed year for you and your family!
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